Where do babies come from?
Oh yes, that is a tricky question.
Also in that category are these questions that I have faced:
“I know how babies get out but how do they get IN?”
“When does the baby know to start growing?”
“Is making a baby really disgusting Mummy – you poor thing?!”
There was a new survey out this week about the most difficult questions asked by children. There was an article in the Daily Telegraph and coverage on the BBC. Essentially, the survey included questions that were science-based and therefore simply stump parents, because we don’t know how to answer them, like: “Why is the sky blue?” These “difficult” questions actually fit into two categories:
1) Questions that you can’t answer because you don’t KNOW the answer and
2) Questions that you don’t WANT to answer because they are embarrassing or age-inappropriate.
I remember my poor mother trying to answer “What’s a prostitute?” when I was about 10. (I don’t think she would want to tell me now if the truth be known!) Only last week, Tom (11) was leafing through a newspaper when we were on holiday and came across a survey in the women’s section of the newspaper. He and his friend Ella (also 11) clearly spent some time reading the survey as we were asked, over breakfast, “How many times a year do you make love?” I nearly choked on my croissant, and Ella (being a girl and a bit more savvy on what to ask your parents and what not to ask them) sat with her very red face firmly in her hands. Oh my Lord, how to answer that, or not answer it.
I spluttered through “Why do you want to know, some things are private, it’s not important, ask your father……”, but would he let it lie – he was determined to get an answer. He told us that the average for married couples was 98 (98?!?!) and what was our number? He even told us kindly that he “wouldn’t mind” what the answer was. The truth is that I don’t think he knows what it all means, hence his lack of embarrassment in comparison to Ella’s. I think we got away with it!
Actually, I am usually very good about answering questions that are awkward. My rules for awkward questions are:
1) Be truthful.
2) Only tell them as much as their question requires and no more.
3) Try not to look embarrassed or awkward – they are not trying to embarrass you.
4) Make it clear that if they don’t understand something, they can ask you and you will give them an honest answer.
And as for the other type of difficult question? Spend some time together finding out. Children need to know how to discover things for themselves and it’s good to know that Mum and Dad don’t know everything.
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